I am, with no doubt, a cock. A cock of Jeremy Clarkson proportions. A cock so vast, that I could make small nations quake with fear in my veiny shadow. My cock-ness is all consuming, like some thick, lumpy phallic black hole swallowing me, and all I hope to be in just one gluttonous 'gulp!'.
Cock, cock, cock, cock, cock!
Some of you are wondering just what the bloody hell I'm on about, where I'm going with this; most of you are merely nodding along, like a car insurance providing dog and are simply wondering what took me so long to admit this... To 'come out' as it were about how much a part of me is cock oriented. Well I'll tell you just what I'm on about.
Essentially, I gave myself too little time to get in from work tonight, cook my dinner, eat said dinner, and then leave my house to get to the pub in time to watch my beloved band night from the very first chord. I know, I know! 'Cock' right?
It was around half past eight, when I, in an undisclosed location in Collier Row, was waiting for an undisclosed bus that was unaccountably late. This particular straw was the thing that snapped this camels back like a brittle twiglett under a sledgehammer of impatience. I decided I was too late to give it my all at reviewing this evening. I felt I had let myself down, and those who resolutely read this blog each week (few though you are). I resolved to attend band night at Schpunk this Wednesday, to make up for my lackadaisical behaviour tonight.
All clever word bollocks aside, this cock promises to get his act together for Wednesday. Sorry.
Martin
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P.S I have recently discovered through my research Otep and Light This City. Two awesome female fronted bands! :-)
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